Saturday, February 18, 2012

twenty-seven candles

So yesterday was my birthday.

I wasn't in a "celebration" kind of a mood, honestly.

I'm in the middle of one of those weeks, one of those weeks where every stupid little thing makes me sob like someone just killed my puppy. I'm tearing up right now, writing this. It's really pathetic and I'm mildly embarrassed for myself. I don't know if it's the six week blues, or crazy hormones, or just the fact that the last few days have included Valentine's Day and my birthday, but I am currently eating a giant piece of tiramisu cheesecake and throwing myself one hell of a pity party.

I actually had a fun little girly date last night. I went out to dinner with some girlfriends, and we pigged out on totally delicious treats that we'd normally never touch and gossiped about the silliest stuff. It was so much fun. Then we went to see The Vow, which was the sweetest, sappiest, chick-iest chick flick I think I've ever seen, and of course it made me feel even more lonely. Sigh.

Then I came home, miserable, to our silent empty little house....and discovered a giant bouquet of flowers, complete with giant "happy birthday" balloon, perched on my front step. I love that man so much...I'm not sure how he's so adept at making me smile from eight zillion miles away, but he's got it nailed.

I miss him terribly. I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to feel his whispers tickling my ear, instead of straining to hear his voice over a faint, crackly phone line. I can't wait to kiss his lips, instead of scrawling XOX at the bottom of letters. I can't wait to share the dinner table with him, to laugh under the hot water of the shower with him, to fall asleep snuggled against his chest.

I know next week will be has to be better. Right now, though, it kinda sucks.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

front door

Day 3: Front door.

I love this little wooden plaque I've had hanging on my door for a bazillion years. Its perfect.

While I love this little greeting, and Daisy's happy wagging tail waiting for me when I walk through the door, it's just not the same as having Adam waiting for me when I walk through the door. I miss him so much.

Especially this week.

Oh my goodness, this was a ridiculous week. Seriously, everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong.

I had a giant food show Monday and Tuesday, and it was seriously a total comedy of errors. It was just awful. It didn't help matters that my boss was super stressed out and in an awful mood...I hate being bitched at for things that I can't help. It made me feel even more stressed out than I already was.

Then, first thing Wednesday morning, my fancy-pants Keurig coffee maker inexplicably died. It's the third Keurig I've gone through since Christmas 2010, and I'm terribly annoyed that I'll have to ether suck it up or call the company for another replacement brewer. Honestly, I'm tired of dealing with such a poorly constructed machine, especially when it's the top-of-the-line Platinum model, and the ridiculously expensive coffee pods that go with it...I'm pretty sure I'm going to buy myself a nice normal coffee pot for my birthday present. I bought a french press the other day, to serve as an electricity-free alternative, and it'll definitely work as a back up...but I'm definitely looking forward to finding a new coffee maker that won't need to be replaced every few months.

After the coffee fiasco, I had a bunch of meetings to attend in a really short period of time before heading to a major meeting up at a distributor at 10:30. I was racing to unload the food show gear from my car before flying up to Poway, and I somehow dropped my Blackberry. It shattered. I nearly threw up. That was a fun conversation to have with the boss. So now I have my calls forwarded to my iPhone, but it's still an enormous hassle, and I don't have any access to my contact list or voicemail or anything. It's stressful.

This morning I was in the kitchen washing a coffee mug at the crack of dawn, and I heard this funny noise. I glanced up just in time to see a wall of dirty water cascade out of the giant light fixture encompassing half my ceiling...I was soaked, the dog was terrified, and my kitchen floor looked more like a swimming pool. I sloshed next door and alerted the landlord (there are days when I feel enormously fortunate to share a yard with the owner!), and he spent the rest of the day working with the maintenance guy to find a solution. The maintenance guy, Hugo, practically lives at my house lately...there's been problem after problem, but this totally took the cake. It was ridiculous.

Then, this afternoon, I logged into my work laptop to check some emails and do some paperwork, and the whole thing froze. I couldn't believe it. I turned the machine off and rebooted it, and since then it's been stuck on this blank blue screen. And, of course, the IT department is MIA. And now I have no way of checking my emails. I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. I need a weekend.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Day 2. Words.

I dread my Statistics text. I've been putting off my Stats homework all week, and I can't put it off any longer. It's not that it's terribly difficult...the problem is that it's so unbearably dry. It's excruciatingly boring. I keep catching myself skimming over the words, thinking about other things, and realizing I don't have the slightest clue what I'm actually reading.

Unfortunately, though, I finished all my other assignments for the week, so I kinda don't have a choice. Stats, it is.

And I should probably stop procrastinating...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012


Day 1."Your view today".

I spend a lot of my time in the car, so I thought it reasonable to make this shot a windshield shot. It's kind of fascinating, crisscrossing San Diego county every day. It also gets frustrating: people do the most ridiculous things. Overall, though, I'm pretty happy with my non-office job.

Honestly, I also kinda wanted to show off our gorgeous January was 75 degrees and brilliantly sunny today. Hey, they call it America's Finest City for a reason!

Today was an interesting day.

Here, a little background first: I love my job, but I'm grossly underpaid. It's especially demoralizing because my boss told me a full year ago that I was hired low and was definitely underpaid, and we settled on a specific dollar amount for a raise. I was, obviously, pretty pleased. Well. A few weeks shy of a year later, and the raise still hasn't taken effect. So basically, I'm aware every single day that I'm working for less than my worth.

So last night I was looking online for a job for a girlfriend, and stumbled across a company looking for promotional models. I've done that before: it's easy fun work, and generally a nights-and-weekends gig. So I fired over a resume and a photograph. First thing this morning, I get a phone call. It was the company, asking for an interview. "Sure," I said, "when?" "How about this afternoon?" Uh, sure. Why not? So I cruise on over, chat with the marketing manager, and was hired on the spot and given my first assignment. Hilarious. Then, the kicker: "You know," the guy said, "I think you'd probably be an excellent fit for our sales department." Next thing I know, I'm interviewing with the sales manager, who also offered me a job on the spot. And yes, I researched the company pretty thoroughly and know it's not a scam. I'm just hoping it winds up being as good as I think it could be. Either way, it's a little extra pocket change for a month or so, right? We'll see.

So, I think this challenge sounds like an interesting way to be more in tune with all the little everyday details that slip through the cracks when we get busy.

And besides, talking about "button" or "handwriting" sounds like way more fun than whining about school or deployment or the wedding, which are virtually the only three things on my mind lately. And the only three things I've been capable of writing about. Yeah, I thought you'd find it a refreshing change, too. ;)

But, y'know, there probably still will be a little whining. I mean, it's me we're talking about here. Just sayin'.

Anyway, so we're starting today. And I'm excited. Here we go!